Clearifying

First off, I would like to say I have been terribly grumpy latley.
don't want to be around many people. And life just seems to be going down hill all over again.
I'm trying super hard not to be frustrated by it. But how can you not when it just gets worse!?
I feel like every one looks at me with disappointment .....strangers, family and even some friends.

I want to make it clear.
I had a baby, I chose to take responsibility and be a mother. A GOOD MOTHER as a matter of fact.
I'm 21 not 12.
I've been graduated for 4 years,  I'm not still in high school.
and I also graduated from cosmetology, which I chose not to continue with outside of school. (Doesn't mean I'm a failure) I never went into cosmetology hoping to find a career from it, but eventually once participating in the class the thought of being a full time cosmetogist crossed my mind a couple times. But in the end its not for me!

No I didn't go to college before having a family, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to get anywhere in life or not be able to provide for my daughter and the many more children I wish to have in the future.
I enjoy being a stay at home Mommy. I think its best for my daughter until she is old enough to go to pre-k. As long as my family and I are doing financially fine, then I don't see a point. Yea some extra money would be nice. But sacraficing pedicures, highlights, I-pads and other new technology is part of being a Mommy. And I rather see my daughter grow... sue me!

Yes I'm on WIC.
Even before I was on Wic I never thought of it as a welfare program.
It's not.
Its actually a good program I think every pregnant mother should be on.
It gives you and your baby the nutrition you need everyday.
Its a smart program and I have learned how to eat appropriately with it.
It forces you to buy veggies, fruits, milk, and bread.
You can't just go buy anything with it.
Its not only for "low class" people.  my entire family was on Wic growing up. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that!
Wic also has a very good breastfeeding class. Birthing class. It has a program where you can meet with other mothers(married or not, teenagers or not) and talk about your pregnancies and ask questions. Its kind of like a support group. Your going through something new in your life. Whats better than knowing people who is going through a pregnancy at the same time you are!?
I wish I would have gone to a class IR 2 when I was pregnant!
Secoondly they are there for your baby and the babies health.

I'm sick of people staring at me when I'm at the mall, at wal-mart or even out to lunch.
I may look 15 but I'm NOT!
STOP JUDGING!
Surprise,Surprise!.. its not even the elderly who glare.
Its actually TODAYS society.

Times like this I wish I looked my age.... uhhhh!

Mothers day and a very special momment!

Today was mothers day.
My "second" mothers day.
Last year I celebrated mothers day by myself,finding out Sophia was growing inside of me... after 6 home pregnancy tests and I still didn't believe it.
This year I celebrated with my amazing Sophia my wonderful boyfriend, his normal parents and my not so normal, crazy family!

Sophia and mommy spent lots of cuddles and play time this morning. We got ready for church together,all morning Sophia had a huge grin on her face. Like she knew it was a special day for mommy!
In church she became the highlight of our pew by talking in the middle of the serman.
Any other time I would be embarressed and leave with her to get her to quiet down. But somehow leaving didn't cross my mind and Mommy was smiling from ear to ear( maybe that's why she kept doing it)
After church Andrew, Sophia and I went back to Andy's parents house and exchnaged gifts with the Mommys!
We met up with my crazy family and Dutch village in clymer for a buffet but of course when we got there my family was already in line and some even had their plates full of food. Doesn't feel very welcoming when they do this. Lets just say its going to be a while until I tend a family function again. HOW RUDE!

I did however try to make the best of the lunch. We then went shopping in the gift shop and I found camo furniture!!!!!!
Which someday I WILL own!

After coming home and relaxing, I must say it was an amazing day. I got to spend every second with the amazing person who made me a mommy.
She's made me who I am today.
I've grown up.
I've found God.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Thank you Andrew Todd and Sophia lyn for giving mommy the best mothers day ever! I love you both!

Now for the very special moment!!
Some exciting news is happening next Sunday my Sophia lyn will be dedicated to the lord.
Can I get an amen!

I'm so truly excited!
I've dreamed of this day since month 4 of my baby girl growing inside of my tummy.
I'm not a person to show any emotion around people. Ill hold it in as long as possible!!!
But this makes me jump for joy!
I may cry on Sunday. and guess what?
I don't even care!

I'm thinking about getting cute cross sugar cookies made that have a purple "S" on them for everyone who attends.
Please come watch as mommy and daddy dedicate Sophia lyn to Christ, Sunday may 20th 2012.

A start of a new "bad" habit?

Great news this week!
Sophia's no longer sick!
No more blow dryer her bum! Thanks to a generic wal-mart brand butt cream:-)  and of course a thanks to the good ol hair dryer!

Sophia took two big steps up this past week. She sleeps EVERY night in her crib! And she sleeps all night!... a total of 10 hours!  Huge change and this mama is in a much better, lively mood the past couple days. The house has never been so spotless with all my energy!
I put the extra energy to use by some good, fun, exercising and cleaning.

Also the second step Sophia had this week is talking.... oh my goodness she talks to everything and anything... a loud talk, not just cooing and smiles now... this is full out bursts, especially to Mickey mouse!

Last night we had an episode where it was daddy and Sophia time.
And well soph wasn't having it! I guess all she wanted was mommy! She just screamed bloody murder untilled mommy came to the rescue.
Worries me, we don't want to make that a habit!
She will not be that child!

Ice cream, pie, and blow drying butts!

Say what?

Yesterday Sophia attended her first auction.
An Amish auction as a matter of fact. She spent the whole day with mommy, cousin Stacey,  cousin Audi and second cousin Corbin who is just over a month old.
We got free burgers, hotdogs, home made pies, and icecream!
Audi and I Fed her icecream from a spoon.. soph loved it! She ate it like a champ! She knew what to do with the spoon and even tried to hold it herself.then mommy gave her pie filling! Black raspberry!!!
She liked that better than the icecream.
Later that night daddy gave her Pepsi! Which we got no expression from; so I have no idea how she feels about that.
I'm so proud of her using the big girl spoon, I might start some vegetables once she's 4 months.

Now onto the blow dryer and butts.
The last week Sophia has had a really bad butt rash. Its bleeding, looks shiny and feels like leather!
Its gotten so bad that as soon as she's laid down to get changed she's immediately shaking and screaming! Poor baby girls scared! She actually cries tears from this! It makes me so sad
:-(
So this is where the blow drying her butt comes into play.
Well Andy and I can't ever get her butt dry enough to spread the butt cream onto the rash....so we started to blow dryer her butt with a hair dryer.
Works like a charm!
She likes it and it gets the job done.
Butt cream goes on smoothly.
And her bums, lookin better!

Amen to hair dryers!

Growing to fast!

My little 7lb 13ounce baby is now 13.2 lbs!!! Not SOOO little anymore... but still little:)
Friday the 20th, Sophia laughed super Loud for the first time. She usually just coo's and giggles and talks to toys in her own baby language. But this time it was a full out laugh!... aunt tabby was there to witness it!
Last night Andrew and I spent about 3-4 hours at the hospital with her. She hadn't ate more than 6 ounces in the last 24 hours and was refusing any formula or pedialite. I got worried. There was a major lack of wet diapers the last 2 days but she thankfully stayed hydrated! Amen.
I have never been to WCA myself. And would rather go anywhere but WCA, but the doctor at the 5 star urgent care center informed me soph would just be getting blood work done, there's nothing to worry about.so I gave in and went.
We left with a tired baby, nothing but a bronchitis sheet for me to read.. but she had x-rays done that confirmed she didn't even have bronchitis...? And not one nurse doctor or person even looked into her not eating habit! ....... !!! AND to remind you,  the reason why we were sent there by the doctor from urgent care was because they don't do blood work there and sent us to the ER for it! Which we ended up leaving with out anyone doing blood work or even talking to us about blood work... I take it, the 8 different nurses that didn't even know what was Going on around them forgot the reason we were there..? Maybe they were to caught up with their homework they ALL had to do, since I didn't met a single one out of school yet!
I was so annoyed! Can't wait for that hospital bill in he mail!.... USELESS!
....I've made up my mind, I'm getting a pediatrician!

Can we think convenience here...?

So every mother or father comes across the momment when restaurants, stores, hospitals, or schools don't have changing tables....

What are you suppose to do!!!!!????
How would you like to sit it your over full diaper people!!!!!!!

Sunday Andy and I are shopping for a new pair of sneakers for him at Olympia Sports.. Sophia went # 2 so bad I'm pretty sure the employees could smell her.so we had to explain to them we would have to leave since they don't have a bathroom.. mind you, andy has like 5 different pairs of shoes out waiting to try on. He asks the lady not to put them away , we'll be right back.
Well I thought going to a different store would be a good idea, but TJmax failed me.. so then Tim Horton's....but no changig table!! oh how convenient!!
so good ol kfc/taco bell to the rescue!
3rd times a charm eh?

I believe EVERY PUBLIC BUILDING needs a changing table in the bathroom!  It should be law!!

Another thing I've noticed is the dang car seat...some fit in shopping carts, others don't. at one reasturant it fits on the booster seats,  other reasturants it doesn't!
And when your 5 foot even like me!!! You can't see over your baby or the car seat when its in the shopping cart! I have almost ran over soooo many people at Wegmans I get dirty looks. And just the other day I was walking down the isle and boom!! Knocked  down two displays full of wind chimes!!!.... the loudest item in the store!
That time I got laughed at, no dirty looks.. it was quite funny though.

Can't they make car seats safe and CONVENIENT!!??

AND last but not least, it would be SO much easier if this world made ALL car seats with a universal base. Every base should be the same!!... but nooooo, that's how they make money.

If only everyone had "convienence" on their mind...

( I do have to give Wegmans two thumbs up for being the most convenient store I've found so far.. supplying mothers and elderly with wipes and diapers next to the baby changing station...and for FREE.) Lets just hope people don't take advantage of the stores thoughfullness and ruin it for the ones who really appreciate it.

Yay for free diapers! And lets think convenience everyone!!! :-)

First day having a baby in the house!

So today I say " it's the first day an actual baby was in the house" because Sophia has never been much of a cry-er unless she was
A.) pooping
Or
B.) Hungry....(which she's on a 4 hour feeding schedule and barley ever cries unless I let her sleep past her 4 hour feeding time.)

But today, today she cried.... and she cried!

Thursday I took her to the doctors cause she was literally pooping 8-9 times a day between the hours of 9am-6 pm...everyday for almost a week.........not normal AT ALL! Well doc says Sophia's just growing, so her pooping habits will change( which I think is a bunch of bull) but in the end I am the one who ends up leaving with a script for an antibiotic. Thank God, cause 2 days later I was miserable with a sore throat, runny nose, plugged ears and no appitite.

So the day that I start feeling better soph starts getting a really wet cough.. which freaks me out cause online "Google" :-) says to take her to the emergency room. (I didn't) but It took everything in me to not drive her in my illegal car to the hospital. So Monday she went to the doctors AGAIN and turns out she has a ear infection ( thank you mommy). So the doctor prescribes her amoxicilion, which I tell the doc my mother and her father both are deathly allergic to anything with penicilion in it. Like stop breathing, drop on the floor almost dead kind of allergic... but the wonderful doctor that she is tells me the chances of Sophia being allergic is slim and usually can't even be carried over... and that I shouldn't be worried..
So I go home give Sophia her first dose of amoxiciline and about 20 minutes later she's screaming
And wiggling like crazy!!! Her whole body is covered in a rash and she's on fire and for about an hour I couldn't get her to settle down.
Im home alone, freaking out. But happy cause she's still breathing at least... but yes, I'm cussing at the doctor in my head. Finally I put a fan on soph with a pacifier( which she hadn't had in over 48 hours cause we were breaking her pacifier habit) and she slowlllllyyyyyyyyy calms down.
So today, her ear infection must be hurting,  cause even in her sleep she was crying!!!!
seemed like every ten minutes she was waking up crying!
Once she fell a sleep for about 30 minutes I had the bright idea to make cupcakes!!!!!
As soon as I started mixing the batter together and the oven on ,she starts screaming. I'm not a multi tasker but I tried to make cup cakes and try to get her to stop crying and not be too loud cause Andy's napping.
Lets just say frosting, sprinkles, cake batter and cooking spray cover one half of the kitchen for about 2 hours. After her screaming every time I put her down and only 8 cupcakes later 
I quit making them and just poured the rest of the batter into a cake pan... took the easy way out:-).
Finally after all that's over, and its close to 8 pm... I start making dinner and she's screaming... I open the chicken I planned on cooking and it's frickin spoiled! SCREW SALMONELLA!!!
so now I'm in the worst mood I've been in since like August ( last time I seen the baby daddy) !
Lets just say I lost all my patients today... for the first time!! I even thought about throwing eggs that were right in front of me,at the wall!!
Instead I burst into tears about a half a dozen times tonight.

This Mommy has anger problems!!!
How do you guys do it!!
I was always so grateful for how calm Sophia was.....this is why god gave me such a happy baby.

Finally I can say with a grin on my face, Sophia finally has stoped crying and is sound a sleep next to me,  looking more adorable than ever:-)
And she's even in big girl PJ's ( PJ's with out Footy things)

I pray tomorrow is a much better day! And I hope she continues to start her day off with a smile, like she did this morning. My goal is to make it a morning habit!! Cause I'm grumpy pants when I wake up. She doesnt ALWAYS have to be like mommy.

<3