In sophia's circumstances, it's for the better.
In my circumstances it's for the better.
All my life I've had very strong oppinions on fathers... On men in general.
I always idolized my friends relationship with their fathers.
Or if their fathers weren't in their life I thought " well at least you don't have to go threw reaccuring dissapointment"
I always knew my dads relationship and mine wasn't normal..or even good.
I dwelled over it to much.
I let it bring me down.
I set myself up for failure, myself.. Not him.
I set myself up for dissapointment.
I tried so much to change him, for his own good. I prayed for something, someone to make him open his eyes. I just wanted an effort!
As A child I grew up going to church every Sunday(on & off). My dad had his stages, for a little over a year he would be all for church and the holy father! Then he would relapse and we wouldn't step foot in a church for months.
The next time my dad wanted forgivness he would find another church, a different church than the last... We never went back to the same church. I guess he felt guilty... Or embarressed..? I don't know, he never talked to us.
Eventually I started rolling my eyes at the thought of going to church, meeting new people, knowing that soon we wouldn't ever go back to this church or ever see these people again. I started to put up a wall. I hated making friends. And I guess you could say eventually I was embarressed to!
Church no longer was fun for me..
Sophia's dad is so simular to my dad, it makes me sick! (actually he's kinda worse)
Dissapointed myself now.
You can say I'm keeping her from dissapointment. I'm keeping her from drugs, alcohol and abuse. Which i'm proud of.
He's the kind of person that comes and goes as he pleases, I won't have that in my daughters life.
Even if him and I were on speaking terms, I would never! Ever! Let her be alone... Away from me... With him. Over my dead body!
Sue me, I want what's best for my baby.
People can think I'm low for not allowing him to be in her life.
Well, he did it to himself.
He never wanted anything to do with her till now, ya see; it's convienent for him.
He has not put a single penny into this child. I don't want him to, It doesn't bother me.
What bothers me is all my life I cried over my situation with my dad. And in a way sophia's situation is worse tan mine.. I never would have imagined this.
I don't want her to think she can change her dad, honestly I hope she doesn't even bother with him once she gets older.
I hope she knows how amazing Andy is. And HE is her daddy.
The daddy that loved her and took care of her like a daddy should.
He will never dissapoint my baby girl. He will never choose drugs, alcohol, money or people over her.
I fully believe he will put her before anyone else....... And that's a DADDY.
I hope she has the kind of friends that I have..friends that can tell her.
"You don't need your biological father to have a dad. "In most situations it's probably for the better!
I hope in the future she accepts the decicions I have made. I pray she realizes she's better off without him. I cross my fingers,arms, legs, toes and eyes that she never gets Hurt from this. And that daddy(Andy) will always be there<3
-thank you Amber E for unknowingly helping me and making me think:-)..<3
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